“It’s only been a few days since Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin introduced their 9 lb., 11 oz. bouncing baby Apple to the world, and already we’re sick of the puns (“Apple of Gwyn’s eye,” “Pomme in the oven,” “Gwynny Smith,” and pretty much anything in the “core” or “peel” genre). No word on the significance of the oddball appellation, though theories have ranged from a New York homage to a wacky Beatles tribute to the most expensive Mac product placement ever.” Sour Apple: Gwyneth joins the bad celebrity baby-name brigade, by Kat Giantis, MSN Entertainment, May 17, 2004

The rest of this article lists the other, uh, odd names celebrities have given their children. Do they assume their children won’t have to go live in the real world, ever? Hmm, maybe they won’t, at that. Do non-American celebs do this too? Paul McCartney’s kids (and their linear descendents through the 30th century) will never have to work, but at least they have normal names.

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