Rename Poop Transplants—A Name Game


As basic and universal as it is, something about poop makes us squeamish. And we get it: it’s of unpredictable quantity and quality and unquestionably dirty. For as long we could remember, poo taboos were drilled into our heads: thou shalt not touch it, sniff it, or even look at it too long. It’s whisked away as quickly as possible, and most us think of it as just a waste by-product.

But we’re waking up to the fact that’s more to poo than we knew. Consider the recent interest in poop transplants, known politely as fecal microbiota transplantation (FMT). It means repopulating the colon of a recipient with the healthy bacteria from a small, diluted sample of stool of a willing donor. Sure, it sounds doo-doobious to many, but has shown promise in treating potentially fatal GI diseases, like ulcerative colitis (a colon full of bleeding ulcers).

Only a few doctors actually perform the procedure, since it’s hard for the public to stomach the “ick” factor. But if we could use what our body produces naturally to cure some of its ills, we’re all for it. What would you rename ‘poop transplants’ so they’re easier to digest?

Here’s what some turdsmiths came up with:

  • Deuce Ex Machina
  • Procedure #2
  • Dump-Starting
  • Arse-nal
  • Dark Force
  • PoopTherapy
  • Scat Scan

Let’s see what you have to donate. Visit to vote for your fecal faves or dump some of your own.


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