“I call this shade American Dream”

Well then, what to make of this mess in New Jersey?

Once upon a time there was a mall called Xanadu. Now, the dictionary says that Xanadu is a “…place of great beauty, luxury and contentment…”

But ladies and gentlemen, what we have nine miles west of Manhattan is much further away from any version of paradise.

The mall has flopped (and that’s really what it is, no matter that they call it a “retailment center”). Not entirely the mall’s fault. Overall, shopping malls are in trouble. Recent figures describe that nearly a fifth of the nation’s 2,000 malls are failing. In fact, there are well over 100 “dead malls.” And new malls aren’t exactly sprouting.

Not that this matters to the Xanadu folks.

No sir, forget the recession, forget the hockey stick decline of malls, Xanadu opened clumsily at full steam ahead as the most expensive mall ever built in the US, at a cost of $2.3 billion, more than double the original cost.

From a naming perspective, giving such a boondoggle–such a misstep in planning and construction–a name that conveys paradise surely must strike New Jersey voters as harshly ironic at best, and more likely insulting. Xanadu is the retail equivalent of a drunk showing up at last call, insisting the bar stay open and break out the Johnny Walker Blue.
When paired with its name, you have the bricks and mortar example of an oxymoron.

But rather than recalibrating the offer (perhaps downsizing the grandiose scope, starting with the name) the mall owners doubled down on the eyesore. Disregarding any recognition of the recession or the crippling tax structure of the state, they’ve gone back to the trough, shamelessly asking for even more money to throw at failure.

As sure as putting lipstick on a pig, they’re going to replace the façade. Yes, that will surely convince customers to shop at Xanadu. But wait, they’re also changing the name. In a truly big-hair moment, the mall owners are adopting…wait for it…American Dream at the Meadowlands.

If only they were joking. Just as “jobless recovery” is hardly anyone’s notion of prosperous times, naming this consumer white elephant a “dream” when it will cost an additional $1.25 billion of taxpayer dollars is shockingly bad.

As pundits point out, American Dream will be 25 percent larger. It’s as if the mall were overweight and rather than fight against too tight clothing by losing some pounds, they switch to stretch waist sweat pants.

The tonality and messaging of American Dream is all wrong. It continues the flaws and (albeit unintended) cynicism of Xanadu. No wonder the word on the street is the architect no longer takes calls from the developer. And these same voices whisper that at last count, the developer had leased only 9 of the 200 retail spaces. Gulp. Swallow hard, New Jersey.

Had Catchword been asked about a name, we would have suggested…

Something more credible, accessible, not cotton-candy fantasies of a better life (does anyone really think an indoor Ferris Wheel and a food court is the embodiment of the American Dream).

Instead, why not go for a name that conveys what this claptrap should represent:  solidity, credibility, not false and cynical promises.

We also would have suggested a name that evokes the local surroundings without referencing “Meadowlands” (now there’s a name that comes with its own steamer trunk of baggage).

And to be frank, we’d have gone with a shorter name. Just saying.

We expect better from these developers. After all, they built The Mall of America near Minneapolis. And that place is humming along without co-opting images so far out of focus with the realities of the property and its performance.

But instead, the good citizens of New Jersey are stuck with a bloated, pompous name that is a stick in the eye and a leak on the piggy bank. And that’s a damn shame which could have been prevented.

In other words, a new name is a life preserver for a brand that’s shipwrecked at sea. It will keep you afloat. But you’re still out to sea.

P.S. Kayla had asked us to come up with some practical and a few humorous suggestions for the new name. Since they didn’t make it to air, I thought we should share:

NYDB Exchange

The Bigger Board

New German Stock Exchange

New Deutsche Stock Exchange

North Atlantic Stock Exchange

TransAtlantic Stock Exchange

Planetary Exchange (a more impressive word than “global”)

Solar Exchange

Galactic Exchange (taking a  cue from Virgin)

Germerica Exchange

Germanosaurus Rex (the biggest thing we could think of)

Big companies that make risky branding choices can count on negative reaction and critical press. (SyFy was slammed for months before it launched. And let’s not forget Wii, widely hailed as one of the worst technology name of the century for months pre-launch.) Consumers rarely welcome change, and they especially don’t like new, edgy names. The big companies experience these negative reactions tenfold, because all eyes are focused on them, waiting for their next move. And finally, let’s not forget that everyone’s a critic, especially when it comes to naming.

Today, as SyFy has its first birthday party, I find that I’m ready to join in the celebration and eat some birthday cake, rather than wanting to be the party pooper and defame the name, again. What changed? What did SyFy do right to make its edgy new name stick?

Embrace negative press
Many companies aren’t prepared for the negative press that comes along with a company rename or product rename. An adverse public reaction to your marketing decision can be poison to a relaunched brand. But it doesn’t have to be. Remember the old axiom, “Any press is good press”? If you prepare for the inevitable onslaught of criticism, you can use it to your advantage. Both Wii and SyFy enjoyed months of free publicity for their name changes (Wii was previously codenamed Revolution). You literally can’t buy that kind of media exposure. Sure, it was negative exposure, but because both companies adhered to the following steps, they managed to come out on top.

(Note: Another strategy is to avoid the negative reactions altogether by avoiding risky or edgy names. For example, Microsoft’s Project Natal was all anyone could talk about for a year. Then they announced their very safe, comfortable new name Kinect, and the product dropped from the headlines a week later. Without no juiciness or excitement inspired by the name, there was nothing to sustain the product’s media presence.)

Be confident
Once you decide to launch an edgy name, stick with your decision. Trust your instincts and never waver. SyFy’s President Dave Howe acted with certainty when discussing his company’s new name. “SyFy ushers in a new era of unlimited imagination, exceptional experiences and greater entertainment that paves the way for us to truly become a global lifestyle brand.” Whether he believed in the decision or not, he never let any hesitation show. What’s more, he didn’t get defensive in the face of criticism. Put a brave face on, and be a leader that your customers can believe in.

Go all the way
The clichés abound: Go all out, the whole nine yards, stay the course, etc. The basic principle is this: Commit to your new name and then fully support it with every resource you have. The biggest companies have the most resources to support a new name or renaming launch. (Unfortunately, they’re sometimes the least likely to want to commit these resources.) In SyFy’s case, they went for the whole shebang: A new name, a new tagline, a new logo, a new graphic identity, and a new ad campaign. In short, they built an entirely new brand around their relaunch. And the supporting elements were nothing short of spectacular.

Be excellent
SciFi had become well-known for their smash hit Battlestar Galactica. That show helped moved them out of the cheesy B-film low budget made-for-tv realm and into the big leagues. They were perfectly positioned to capitalize on this new identity. But they had to do more than slap a fresh coat of paint on a clunker of a car. (You can rename a Pinto, but it’ll still be a Pinto.) The newly christened SyFy continued airing their high-quality shows (Eureka, Sanctuary, etc.) while introducing some stellar new content (Warehouse 13, Caprica, etc.). By reinforcing their new brand with quality products, SyFy helped convince their viewers that the new name signaled something fresh and exciting.

Summary
We here at Catchword give our clients this exact advice when we present edgy company or product name candidates. Ground-breaking names are fun and have a lot of brand potential (Google, Yahoo, Yelp, Wii, etc.). Everyone wants a bold, daring name, but few companies are prepared to do what it takes to successfully launch one. And, while we often recommend this type of company or product name, the recommendation comes with one major caveat: If you’re going to go with a ground-breaking name you must:

Take it from a former naysayer turned ardent supporter of the name SyFy: Getting people to like your edgy new brand name is possible, but it takes a lot of hard work. But if you go the extra mile, you’ll likely end up with a better brand and a more memorable brand name than if you go the safe route. Finally, a mea culpa: After reflecting upon my personal transformation regarding SciFi/SyFy, I promise to be a little more accepting of the next brand or product rename that initially ruffles my feathers.

Here are just a few of the submissions that I give my professional namer’s official stamp of approval:

Mad Sow Disease
The Baconic Plague
Porky’s Revenge
SowMenella
Swinus infection
Snout Gout
Pigpendemic

According to the AP report, “Xe” is supposed to be pronounced “zee”; an op-ed in the LA Times suggests is might be named for the element xenon, one of the noble gases. Do they mean to suggest that they are colorless, odorless, and heavy? That they are generally unreactive? That they have 54 protons? That they make a really bright light? Honestly, I can’t imagine why they chose this name, since xenon, while quite useful for lasers, ion propulsion engines, and medical imaging, isn’t much to write home about. And if they’re trying to interpret the word “noble” in a non-chemical way, they are dreaming. Blackwater = noble? NOT.

It’s likely they were just trying to pick something meaningless and kinda cool, a name that had no relationship at all to security, wars, and, er, murder. It’s short and distinctive, for sure, but unfortunately they don’t own the exact .com domain (xe.com is a handy currency exchange site – I have it bookmarked). Unfortunately, I think they chose something sodistinctive that no one will ever forget that they are the Outfit Formerly Known As Blackwater.

I personally got a big laugh out of this name because in science fiction/internet circles, “xe” is often used an a gender-neutral pronoun, as in “Xe laughed” or “I wonder if xe can join us for the chat” – a necessity when communicating online where gender is often (deliberately) blurred or hidden. Maybe by choosing Xe, the Blackwater fellows are really trying to tell us that they’re transsexual Star Trek fans. (I hope that’s not true – it would give a bad name to transsexual Star Trek fans everywhere!)