P.S. Kayla had asked us to come up with some practical and a few humorous suggestions for the new name. Since they didn’t make it to air, I thought we should share:

NYDB Exchange

The Bigger Board

New German Stock Exchange

New Deutsche Stock Exchange

North Atlantic Stock Exchange

TransAtlantic Stock Exchange

Planetary Exchange (a more impressive word than “global”)

Solar Exchange

Galactic Exchange (taking a  cue from Virgin)

Germerica Exchange

Germanosaurus Rex (the biggest thing we could think of)

We are proud parents and we love to tout our naming prowess when one of our creations hits the market. Today we have the not-so-rare opportunity to announce, what we consider to be, a seriously awesome name: BOKU.

Boku is a start-up mobile payments company. Let me explain: Remember the last time you were playing Mafia Wars and you need to buy fancy new virtual duds before you met the Godfather? Nerve-wracking right? Well, Boku can help alleviate some of that stress by making the purchase of those online goods quick, easy, and safe. Phew! Without Boku, you might not have been able to buy that virtual Armani suit and the Godfather would have been tres disappointed.

Thanks Boku!

Small wonder they needed three full page ads to introduce the name. If they only paid for one page, they’d have to shrink the font to fit, and no one would be able to read the name. Alas! This is a problem that money can fix. But, instead of paying for a better name (too risky?), they decided to pay for more ad pages. I pity the poor fools who work for this company. Can you imagine typing that … novella … of a brand name into every email address? Strong fingers.

No doubt this brand is destined for the land of initials. But for you morganstanleysmithbarney folks who might be reading, I have good news! It appears the MSSB.com is for sale. Might I suggest you grab it ASAP using your TARP funds. Ah … just what the world needs … MORE INITIALS! I just love alphabet soup.

Well, let’s all hope these guys are better at finance than they are at branding. Or maybe they found a new kind of naming consultant–one who gets paid by the letter. Now why didn’t I think of that?

And lest we forget … these guys have made this same mistake before. What ever happened to MorganStanleyDeanWitter? Still not in contention for the Longest Name title, but if we allow a little poetic license, we can really have some fun. How about morganstanleydeanwittersmithbarney (.com)? Now that would be a real champion. Some folks never learn.

Schwab has built a reputation as a straight-talking, no-nonsense company – providing real answers to real customers, not just marketing fluff. This new product name needed to maintain that brand integrity while keying on the uniqueness of this offering – not just a one-size-fits-all retirement plan, but advice and tools geared to an individual’s needs. In short, a real-life solution to real-life problems. What better name than Real Life Retirement Services?

Senator Skoultchi acknowledged that he knows virtually nothing about economics or finance (and, quite shockingly, that he’s not even a Senator), but that the renaming makes sense because Americans demand transparency from our political and financial leaders. Never known for his oratory skills, Skoultchi was quoted as saying “Holy crap – did you see what happened in the market yesterday?! They oughta rename that index the Down Jonezing industrial average.”

He went on to say that prior to becoming a fake senator, he worked for many years as a name development specialist at a brand name development firm named Catchword, and that in all his years of consulting for Catchword he had never seen an easier target than the words “Dow” and “Jones” for a market index that was spiraling ever downward and in desperate need of a cash fix.

“I mean, c’mon, it couldn’t be any easier if the index was named the “Halp Mead industrial average. Alright, that’s not the best, but you get the point.” he was quoted as saying.