Fresno just rolled out a new motto: California’s year-round playground. And, add to that a new rallying cry: Be world class. Be Fresno.

Seriously?! Who are they kidding with this bullsh**? As a native Fresno County boy, and as a professional naming consultant, all I can say is: HAHAH!

Branding Consultant Suzanne Bertz-Rosa explained, “Because of our weather and our location there’s something to do year-round here.” Um, yeah. That “something to do year-round” in Fresno is called Meth. Fancy words aren’t going to cover up the deep sores blighting the city’s image.

Update: Laurel and I came up with a few snarky replacements for Fresno’s new tagline.

Fresno: The place to get tweaked all year round!

Fresno: Freshest meth in the Central Valley

Fresno: The nation’s meth breadbasket.