As I was browsing the Huffington Post earlier today, I came across this juicy little tidbit announcing that PETA wants to change the “name” of fish to sea kittens (after all, who would want to eat “sea kitten sticks”?). At first I thought it was a joke, but then I saw the post on the PETA site too.
Ah, to be a fly on the wall at the morning roundtable at The Onion: “How did we get scooped on this?!”
Wow. This could go down in the annals of name development. I mean, plenty of naming consultants can brag about naming a company or naming a new product, but can any of us lay claim to naming a whole animal group? Heck, I’m not sure there are even any scientists who could make that claim. If PETA can pull this name change off, they would really be in a class all by themselves. Again. Still.
A few questions come immediately to mind:
1) Are all fish sea kittens, or just the baby fish? “Sea Cats” don’t sound nearly as warm and cuddly. And I’ve already met a few sea lions — they definitely have some bite in their bark.
2) Once we rename fish, are we expected to tackle cows, pigs, and chickens? Maybe they all fall under the new moniker “Farm Kittens”. Do vegetables become “Soil Kittens”? More thought needed on this topic.
3) How do “real” kittens feel about all this? Did PETA bother to ask them about the emotional ramifications of all these new “siblings” joining the family? Talk about some strange in-laws.
4) And while we’re on the subject, don’t “land kittens” like to eat “sea kittens”? Does this renaming exercise turn all felines into cannibals?
Hats off to PETA for tackling such an enormous renaming opportunity. I know I, for one, will be checking the PETA site more often for reports on future naming initiatives. Who knows, maybe they might even have room for a pitiful “normal” naming consultant like me. I know I’ve only named a few dozen companies, but I could name a new animal group, I swear!